Domestic Violence
Domestic violence is a common and tragic problem in the United States. An abusive relationship is one in which one partner subjects the other to emotional or physical abuse. Emotional abuse can take the form of constant name-calling, criticism and extreme jealousy. In physical abuse, a partner may push, slap or kick you. Both emotional and physical abuse are considered domestic violence.
Domestic abuse can happen to women of any race, age, sexual orientation, religion or gender. It can happen to couples who are married, living together or dating. It happens to people of all socioeconomic and educational backgrounds. Abuse doesn’t have to happen every day or every week to be classified as domestic violence.
Pregnancy often offers no break from the abuse. In fact, one out of six abused women is first abused during pregnancy. Abuse puts both the mother and her baby at risk. The dangers of this abuse include miscarriage, vaginal bleeding, low birth weight and fetal injury.
It isn’t easy to admit or realize that the person you love or once loved or who is the parent of your child is an abuser. But if you are in a violent relationship, it’s vital to protect yourself and your baby. No matter what your partner says, it is not your fault.
The first step to breaking the pattern of violence is to tell someone about it. Tell someone you trust — a close friend, a family member, your health care provider, a nurse, a counselor or a clergy member. Talking about a problem can be a huge relief. The person you confide in may be able to put you in touch with crisis hotlines, domestic violence programs, legal aid services and abuse shelters. Keep any evidence of physical abuse, including pictures, and write down dates when the abuse happens. If you are injured, go to the emergency room and report what happened to you.
Once you decide to leave, be prepared for a safe, quick escape:
- Make a plan for how and where you will escape.
- You may request a police stand-by or escort while you leave.
- Try to set money aside or ask friends or family members to hold money for you.
- Hide an extra set of car keys.
- Pack an extra set of clothes for yourself and your children and store them at a trusted friend’s or neighbor’s house. Don’t forget toys for the children.
- Take with you important phone numbers of friends, relatives, doctors and schools.
Remember to bring important documents and items, including:
- Your driver’s license
- Medication
- Credit cards or a list of credit cards you hold yourself or jointly
- Pay stubs
- Checkbooks and information about bank accounts and other assets
- Birth certificates for you and your children
For more information or to get help, check the section of your phone book for domestic violence services or hotlines. You also can call the National Domestic Violence Hotline 24 hours a day.
