Sexual Desire and Response

Many people think that sex starts with desire, which leads to arousal and then orgasm. Although this may be true for men, research suggests that women’s sexual responses are more complex. For many women, physical desire is not always the starting point. A woman may want to have sex to feel close to her partner or to show her feelings. The physical desire may not occur until after sexual activity has started. A woman may not want to have sex if the situation does not feel right, or if she feels unsafe. Not responding sexually may be her body’s way of telling her to stop the activity.

Some women say they are satisfied even if they do not have an orgasm because the physical and emotional aspects of sex are pleasurable even without it. Lack of orgasm, however, is a concern for many others. Orgasm may be difficult to achieve from intercourse alone, and many women need more stimulation — kissing, caressing, stroking and touching of sensitive areas, such as the breasts and clitoris — to have an orgasm. It is important for both partners to understand that sex can include other activities besides sexual intercourse.